A Break

Let me start off by saying how much I love my children. I adore them. Motherhood has been the most amazing, challenging, and rewarding experience of my life. Seeing each one of my children grow up and develop their own (wildly different) personalities is such a joy. Cliche or not, motherhood is the best thing I've done or will ever do in my life.

Having said that, it's exhausting. Being their cook, entertainer, chauffeur, nurse, maid, and confidante is seriously draining. I know everyone warns you how tough parenthood is but you can't grasp the difficulty level until you are surrounded by 4 screaming children who all need different things at the exact same time.


Today, amidst the insanity that is motherhood, I thought of what I would give to have a week to myself. All by myself. Alone. As a woman who got married at the ripe old age of 20, I never really had all that much time to myself. I wouldn't change a thing, but I do dream of having a break from it all. If that break ever comes, here's my to-do list:

*Read a book, guilt-free.

*Go for a long run whenever I want to.

*Sit on a beach. That's all. Just sit on the beach and listen to the waves.

*Sleep.

*Shop. Anywhere. Alone.

*Go to a museum.

*Go to a ballet and/or symphony.

*Go to a club and dance my heart out.

*Walk wherever I want for as long as I want.

*Go to a pool and swim laps and then sit in the jacuzzi 'til I'm pruny.

*Eat at a nice restaurant and order an appetizer, entree, and dessert.

*Take a long, uninterrupted shower.


It's the simple things, I guess. But I think that's part of what this whole parenting thing is about. Teaching you appreciation for life's simple treasures.

Bah Humbug!

Ah, Christmas! The most magical time of the year. I have always been a BIG fan of Christmas. As a child I would beg my parents to let me sleep by the fireplace and listen to Christmas music as I fell asleep...beginning in September. My parents (and now my husband) have had to ban any Christmas music prior to Halloween.



But over the last few years, Christmas has changed for me. I can probably pinpoint the beginning of this change to when we moved to California. Taking away the snow and nip in the air and replacing it with 70 degree weather (although ridiculously nice) just doesn't get me in the holiday spirit as quickly.



The other change has been, well, having a plethora of children. It seems like my shopping list grows larger every year with our own additions to the family, not to mention more nieces, nephews, aunts and uncles to shop for. This year in particular, I have been very overwhelmed and stressed, feeling more like the grinch than my former Cindy-lou Who self. There just seems to be so much to do and not enough time and/or money to do it all.



This last weekend, Randy and I took the kidlets to Universal Studios Grinchmas celebration. With 4 kids, it was seriously exhausting but they had a blast. Seeing the place all decked out in Christmas decor (they even had a snow area for the kids to throw snowballs in) helped me snap out of my Scrooge funk and remember that Christmas isn't about all the stuff that's been stressing me out. It's about enjoying these precious, fun moments with my children and seeing the excitement in their eyes. It's about remembering why we give gifts; to honor our Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave everything for us.

So, from here on out, I am going to keep a better perspective on Christmas. I may not find my way back to the holiday crazed girl of my youth, but I will take a step back and enjoy the magic of the season through my children's eyes and remember my Savior during this holiday season.

"It came without ribbons, it came without tags! It came without packages, boxes, or bags!" And he puzzled three hours, til his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before! "Maybe Christmas ," he thought, "doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!" -How The Grinch Stole Christmas

The Emmys

What I learned from attending the Emmys:



Inside all women there's a hidden diva just waiting to walk the red carpet.

Celebrities are too darn skinny!

Most television stars are sweet, genuine, and down to earth.

Some celebrities are not...

In spite of logic and reason, when you come face to face with your Hollywood crush, there's just no way to act cool about it.

And I LOVE a good dress!




Thanks to my man and his hook-ups for making last night possible. It was surreal and downright fabuous!

For the "Grater" Cheese

One thing about me that most people don't know is that I haven't always been the magnificent chef I am now. :) When I was little, I would watch my mother and sister cook and bake to their hearts content. I would watch on, but with little interest. I did, however, enjoy in the final product.

So, being that I was never interested in cooking, I was given the remedial duties such as peeling potatoes, washing dishes, and my least favorite, grating the cheese. To this day, I don't know what it is about grating cheese that, well, grates on me. Maybe it was the sore hand and arm muscles inflicted in grating enough cheese for a family of 7 (3 of which were teenage boys) or maybe because grating cheese made me feel like a second class citizen in the kitchen. But for whatever reason, the fact remains: I hate grating cheese!

Well, the other day I was making my favorite comfort meal, tuna casserole. It's my mother's recipe and when I'm missing home, I need to make it. So there I am, getting everything ready and the baby starts to cry. I'm running out of time so I look over at my 8 year old and say, "Will you please grate the cheese for dinner?" He looks at me and answers with an enthusiastic, 'Yes!" He gladly grates all the cheese, I thank him, and he walks away happy as a clam. And then it dawns on me: I never have to grate cheese again! Now I have children old enough who can do the dreaded job for me and now it's my turn to create in them their own grating issues.

Stage 2

Over the last few months, I've been feeling something. I'm sure it has to do with knowing that Kennedy is our last mingled with the fact that my kids are growing up faster than I ever thought possible. I feel like I'm putting a chapter of my life behind me and moving on to the next stage.

Last month we hit some major milestones that added to this feeling. Our Lincoln had his baptism. I remember when we had him, thinking forward to that day and thinking just how far away it seemed (I also remember thinking that when he turned 8, I would be 30 and that was NEVER gonna happen). However, time inevitably passes, and witnessing my son, so excited to be baptized and become a member of the church was something I can't put into words. I'm so proud of him!

The following day, we then blessed our little miracle. After three boys, it was pretty awesome to dress her up in a beautiful, frilly, white dress! Being the last one, I feel like she is in everyway, the cherry on top of our family. Already she has blessed our lives so much and I get teary eyed just looking at her smile back at me (yes, I'm a big ol' baby, I know).

So, now I feel like we're hitting stage 2 in this parenting journey. Instead of waddling around with a big, preggo belly, I'm going to be driving the boys to scout activites and sports events. In the next few years, we can start planning vacations that won't revolve around either being pregnant or having an infant to worry about. This makes me both very sad and really excited. I want to enjoy every moment of my baby girl, and already it's going by too stinkin' fast, but with the bitterness of saying goodbye to those infant days, comes the thrill of all the adventures that lie ahead.

The public eye

This weekend we were out sightseeing with my sister's family. It's always fun to get out and explore, which with having a new baby, we haven't done much of lately. One of the consequences of carting a new baby around in public, however, is that they need to eat and when they're meal literally comes from Mom, it's a chore to figure out the best place to commence feeding.

Let me just say that nursing in public is not my favorite thing. However, I am of the belief that between the choice of starving my baby or enduring public scrutiny, I will always chooose the ladder. Let me also say that when I nurse in public, I am VERY covered. I am not one of those women that proudly presents their "ladies" to the world; I even have the aptly named "hooter hider" to keep myself completely modest.

So, once I'm covered and baby is happily eating, I get to sit back and watch. The way people react to a woman breastfeeding is both fascinating and hilarious. The range of reactions is something to behold. Here are the types I've observed:

* The complete oblivious (love 'em)

* Those that look at you with complete understanding (also love 'em)

* Those, usually women, that just beam at you. (They make me smile, even though sometimes I worry they may run over, throw off my cover and start tickling Kennedy).

*Those that look at me in disgust (not a huge fan)

*Those that say, "I will NEVER do that in public!" (famous last words)

*And those, usually men, who take a minute to figure out what you're doing, and once realization hits, look anywhere but at you. It's as if they are thinking, "don't look directly at it". This cracks me up! What do they think is going to happen if they look at us? Do they think they are going to turn into superman and develop x ray vision in that very moment? (these are the most fun to watch).

But too all types I say thank you, for letting me nurse my child in public, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you. KK thanks you and so do all the people that won't have to listen to her cry because she got a good meal in. :)

Top 10!

June 9th marks Randy and my 10 year wedding anniversary and to honor this special occassion I came up with some "Top 10 Lists" of things I've learned about marriage, my hubby, and things remembered. Here goes:

Top 10....things I remember about our wedding day:

1. I was late arriving at the temple making Randy sweat if I was going to back out (he has never let me live that down).

2. During the wedding ceremony, I couldn't stop smiling.

3. Taking pictures got old, fast.

4. A piggyback ride in a wedding dress is a complicated maneuver.

5. I LOVED my wedding dress.

6. The reception line. I honestly loved being able to visit with everybody!

7. Shoving cake in Randy's face.

8. Having to throw the wedding bouquet twice (because my mother missed the first throw). I also remember Becky Youkstetter knocking the ladies out of the way trying to catch it. :)

9. Being pelted with pounds of rice as we headed for the getaway car (I think we still found rice in the car a couple of years later).

10. The very long drive to Deer Valley. It seemed long, anyway...

Top 10 things.... I've learned about my husband in the last 10 years:

1. He is a clean freak.

2. He has 2 mistresses: college football and his xbox

3. He is very, VERY smart.

4. He gets better looking with age.

5. He is an AMAZING father.

6. He is a homebody.

7. He has a great sense of humor; he can always make me laugh.

8. He is, at heart, a family man.

9. He is great at his job.

10. He still seems to love me.

Top 10....amazing moments we've shared together in the last decade:

1. Having children.

2. Watching each other graduate from college.

3. Our trip to Hawaii.

4. Our trip to France.

5. Learning all we need is each other and our kids to be happy, no matter where we live.

6. Witnessing Randy's career successes.

7. Our trip to San Francisco.

8. Learning to cherish date nights.

9. Learning to appreciate nights in.

10. Realizing we're still in love, 10 years later.

Top 10...bits of advice to a happy marriage:

1. Don't sweat the small stuff.

2. Don't act your age.

3. Kiss...a lot.

4. Find things to do together but also enjoy doing your own thing.

5. Keep your priorities straight.

6. Don't live with the in-laws.

7. Fight naked.

8. Laugh when you want to cry.

9. Flowers and chocolate, while cliche, are important.

10. Saying "I'm sorry" can go a long way.

Thanks, Mr. Player, for an amazing ride thus far. I can't wait to see what the next 10 years will bring!

Goodbye 20's!

Well, it's that time. The time I've been dreading for the last couple of years...that's right, tomorrow I turn the big, 3-0! I realize it's not that big of a deal but it's still odd to think I'm finished with my twenties. However, this fretting about 30 has given me a chance to look back over my 20's, feel nostalgic, and be grateful for the choices I made over the last decade.

At only 20 and a couple months, I made the biggest decision of my life. I married Randy Player. Yes, 20 is young for marriage. I get some quizzical looks when I tell people I married so young, but it was definitely the right choice for me and I thank my lucky stars that I married him. He is truly my best friend and partner in life.

Just 2 short years later, we made another huge decision and had our first bundle of joy, Lincoln. He completely changed my life and my priorities. From day one, he has kept me on my toes. He is such a bright and stubborn young man. I know he will go far in life, considering his determination and unwillingness to wavor from what he wants. Our lives would not be the same without him!



6 months after having Lincoln, I was able to do something I promised myself I would do, even having a kid in the middle of it all, and that was to get my bachelor's degree. I majored in music, dance, and theatre. Being BYU, they were very understanding with me carting around my little guy to classes that last semester. And thankfully, we lived with my parents at the time so they helped a ton with watching Lincoln (those dance classes weren't the optimum place to bring a baby).




Just 2 short years after having Lincoln, we welcomed Carter. He keeps me on my toes in a completely different way than Lincoln. He is happy, mischevious, and wears his heart on his sleeve. He is loving and absolutely crazy and I can't imagine our home without him.

Then 3 years later came Jackson. He has been, in one word, joy. He is just a really cool kid. He is so easy going and just loves life. When I found out we were having our 3rd boy, I was excited. I had been hoping for a girl, but I can't say how happy I am that we had this 3rd boy. He has been such a blessing in our family.

And then just 4 short weeks ago, we welcomed our little princess. What a great way to end my twenties. We already love her so much!

So, that's the last 10 years in a nut shell. I'm grateful for it and even though I'm not excited about getting older, I can't wait to see what this next decade brings!

Ode to Superdad

"Certain is it that there is no kind of affection so purely angelic as of a father to a daughter. In love to our wives there is desire; to our sons, ambition; but to our daughters there is something which there are no words to express." Joseph Addison

Kennedy is now 3 weeks old and I can't believe how quickly it has gone. While the sleepless nights have been brutal (as has the nursing) we are now getting back to normal (aside from the comatose state I function in). Randy went back to work on Monday after a lovely 2 and a half weeks off and having him gone has made me appreciate all he did while he was off and all he continues to do the second he walks in the door! So babe, this one is for you!

First off, I have to say how great Randy is during the whole birthing process. He is quiet and unassuming yet knows exactly when I need a good laugh. He's right there with me to hold my hand and tell me I'm doing a great job. Plus, he throws in some apologies for being a man. :)

Then you have how great he is with our daughter (as he was with our boys). You know how some guys are just not great with the newborn stage? Well, my hubby is not one of them. He is right there to hold, soothe, feed, and change diapers. He is a natural and thankfully offers help whenever I need it.

And then there's how he is with the boys. He's incredibly patient, kind and always has a listening ear. He is quick to play with them; the favorites are Mario Kart on the Wii and dodgeball in the backyard. Superdad is always ready to lend a hand with homework, read to and even sing to them at night. He took the boys on countless little getaways during his time off just to give me time to recoup and bond with Kennedy. Whether it was simply taking them to the store or his more brave adventures, like taking all 3 to the movies and to the LA Museum of Natural History so they could go to the Butterfly Pavillion. Yah, he's a stud!

So thank you, Randy, for being the kind of man our children can look up to; the kind of man I want our boys to turn out like; the kind of man I want our daughter to marry. I love and appreciate you and so do our little presidents!

"Someday my Prince will come. Until then, I have my Daddy!" - unknown

Kennedy Kay

Our little lady entered this world on March 31st. We checked into the hospital a little after 9a.m. to be induced. After getting hooked up to the I.V. and my epidural (thankfully it worked this time!) they broke my water and at 2:06 p.m. we welcomed our princess weighing in at 8 pounds 1 ounce, 20 1/2 inches long. (the first question I asked when she made her entrance was, "is it really a girl?").

She is healthy and gorgeous and I have already enjoyed dressing her up multiple times a day. I am surviving on very little sleep but am really trying to enjoy every moment as I know all too well how quickly this stage passes.

I have to say, there is somethimg special and different about having a girl. I've discovered a whole new level of worry (I am never letting her out of my sight) and a whole new side to myself (if anyone ever hurts her, I will happily take them down!). It is such a sweet blessing to have her in our family and the boys have all reacted well, especially Carter. He is constantly talking to her and commenting on how tiny she is. Jackson likes to know that she is around and stares at her and Lincoln just likes to know he is in charge.

And Daddy is just putty in her tiny hands. He has already promised her a pony (I think Mom is going to have to be the disciplinarian here). Welcome Kennedy Kay, we already adore you and can't wait to watch you grow!