Feeling Nostalgic

As I sit here anxiously awaiting tomorrow, both it's difficulties and it's delights, I am a bundle of emotions. I am thrilled to welcome my little girl into this world and finally be able to meet her but I am also experiencing trepidation and nostalgia. Trepidation for all the unknowns that tomorrow will bring (from how painful it will be this time around to what she's going to look like) and nostalgia for the time I've had with only my 3 beautiful little men.

I find myself feeling incredibly lucky to be the mom of my 3 very unique, very mischievous boys. They have taught me so much and I have to say sometimes it's been a blast to be the "queen" of the house. They are such a blessing to me and I am always amazed at how completely different 3 boys, close in age, can be. You have Lincoln, the deep thinker, who analyzes and stresses about everything. He's organized, focused, bright, and creative. He worries about everyone in the family, especially me and is fiercely loyal. Then you have Carter, who is impulsive, free, never thinks through anything and gives me a run for my money. He can be a pill but is also my most loving. The first to give me a big kiss or cuddle for no reason at all. And last, but certainly not least, is my little Jackson (who at 2 is almost as big as Carter at 5). He is such a special little guy. So incredibly easy going and loving. He is beyond smart and bonds with both Lincoln's bright, creative tendencies, as well as Carter's boisterous, crazy side. I sometimes think he is the glue between Carter and Lincoln.

Maybe it's the hormones but as I welcome this new chapter in my life (bringing another precious soul into this house) and the close of another (just me and my boys) I get a little weepy for both the future and the past. I can't believe I'm lucky enough to welcome a little girl into this world. Someone I can take shopping and get pedicures. Someone I can take to the ballet and put in dance lessons. And I can't believe how blessed I've been to spend this precious time with just my boys.

Home sweet HOME!

So after nearly 2 months living in a hotel, we are now officially moved into our home! Hooray! I know that living in the hotel (and a hotel as nice as the Sheraton Universal) was a blessing and one that I am very grateful for but there is something about being in your own home, cooking your own food, having kids in their own school, etc. that can't compare.

Here are a few things I missed:

My own kitchen!

Yes, that's right. As much as I can gripe about being a made to order cook and maid, I have truly missed making (and even cleaning up) our family dinners. Not only do I feel healthier not eating take out or room service everyday all day, but I have discovered that making dinner can sometimes relax me and give me a little break from the boys. Not to mention, I get to bake again which is heaven to my sugar cravings and makes my guys happy. So, hooray for healthy dinners, yummy desserts and a beautiful kitchen that I can call my own!

Cable television!

That's right, I missed TV. Real TV. Not the few channels we had at the hotel (which included NO kids channels, something I have informed Randy he has to change about the hotel ;) ) but real television with DVR and choices. I missed it for myself but I mostly missed those few breaks I would get throughout the day when the kids could sit down and watch their favorite programs. Let's just say shower time became interesting when I couldn't occupy my 2 1/2 year old with Dora or Team Umizoomi. So, now we have our TV back, and I have learned that, as unfortunate as it may be, cable TV is a friend I don't want to be without.

Space!

I learned through this experience that space is sanity! It doesn't even have to be that much space. I missed having a place where I could seperate the boys when they were fighting or a place where I could hide myself in timeout for a few minutes when patience was hard to find. I missed being able to send the boys out back to get some fresh air and have an outlet for all that energy they have (read CARTER here). So thank you, home, for giving me the space I so dearly missed!

A place to bring my baby girl home to!!!

And last but not least, having a place to bring Kennedy home to when she finally makes her arrival. Even though I have never had a baby early, I just knew this was going to be the time, as it was the only time I didn't want it to happen. I kept having nightmares of bringing her back from the hospital and putting her in the not so comfortable, overused hotel version of a "crib" and guests slamming on my door when my crying baby wakes them up every couple hours in the middle of the night. So, needless to say, having a home to bring her home to has given me much peace of mind. Now we just have to wait...

Home sweet hotel!

When we first moved from Northern California to Southern California we figured we would get packed up, come stay in the hotel for maybe 2 weeks while we found a place to live and that would be it. I was not, however, prepared for the possibility of the house hunt taking so long and leaving us with the boys out of school and living in the hotel for a total of 7 weeks. Thankfully, we only have one more week of living in this limbo state. Next week we will be moving into our new home and I am beyond excited, especially considering I've been driving the boys back and forth from their new school several times a day and because, well, I'm about to pop and I don't like the idea of bringing the baby back to to hotel for her first home.

But we have had our fair share of good times since we've been here. We've tried to do some fun things with the boys and take advantage of our proximity to the LA attractions. So here are some of the things we've dragged the kiddos to:

1. Universal Studios- The boys loved this! Especially the animal show. My boys are nothing if not animal lovers. And Lincoln loved the Jurassic Park ride. He and Randy had to go on it a few times while preggo Mommy and the younger two unfortunately had to miss it.

2. Griffith Park Observatory- The boys weren't particularly happy about being dragged here but loved it once they were there. They loved learning about the stars and planets and Mom enjoyed the gorgeous views of LA and Hollywood!

3. Santa Monica 3rd street promenade and beach- The boys didn't like the window shopping at all (including Randy, let's hope my little Kennedy enjoys shopping with me) but we made it up to them by going to the beach afterwards.

4. The LA Natural Museum of History. This was such a great place for our boys. They loved just about every part of the museum, but especially the insect exhibit. If there are bugs, my boys are there.

5. The LA Arboretum- These botanical gardens were gorgeous. The kids (and me) were definitely pooped after walking around all day but I'm so glad we went and I can't wait to go again.

6. The LA Zoo- How can you go wrong with the zoo? The boys loved seeing all of the different animals. It was cute to see Jackson get so excited too. He really loved all of the monkeys. At one point he turned to one of them and said, "Hey buddy" followed by "you are so cute!". It was a fun and exhausting day.

7. And then there's just been the things we do while hanging out around the hotel, like making Spongebob out of Legos and Daddy tickle wars. Of course, we have the occassional injury as well, like Jackson falling off his bed in the middle of the night and bonking his head on the night stand. Poor guy. Hopefully we'll survive one last week of life in the hotel!

Only a Mom

So, last week I went to the doctor's office for the first time since the move. It was odd to be meeting the doctor a mere 5 weeks before my due date but really, what hasn't been odd about my life this pregnancy? So, as I was being checked out by the nice doctor with the incredibly thick accent, he began to question me about the move(s) and I explained my husband's job was the reason for all the chaos and then he looked at me and said, "You ONLY Mom?" by which he meant, is that all you do? I said yes and he moved on with the visit. I did like the doctor. He was very polite and even did a quick ultrasound to make sure that my little girl was still, well, a girl. (She is!!!) but for some reason his words "Only Mom" have stuck with me since the visit and got me to thinking.

Why do people consider a woman that decides to raise her children instead of work outside the home as being "only a Mom" or "just a Mom"? Why don't people say, "Wow, you are a stay at home Mom!!! My respect for you just went up a few notches!" If I had said, "I'm a scientist", or "I'm a doctor" I would have received that kind of reaction but instead I get the "only a Mom" with a hint of "you must not be capable of anything more important".

Seriously, why is this? When did being a stay at home Mom come with such a stigma? Personally I'm proud of being a stay at home Mom. I feel it's an honor to be the only one raising my children. So I have to change diapers, be a chauffeur, maid, cook, counselor, and teacher. I don't think doing and being those things makes me less of a person than others in the working world.

Granted, it can be a thankless job and can take you to the brink of insanity on a daily basis but this time with my children is incredibly important to me and, believe it or not, I want to be home with them (well, most of the time) even if it means getting the label "only a Mom".