The public eye

This weekend we were out sightseeing with my sister's family. It's always fun to get out and explore, which with having a new baby, we haven't done much of lately. One of the consequences of carting a new baby around in public, however, is that they need to eat and when they're meal literally comes from Mom, it's a chore to figure out the best place to commence feeding.

Let me just say that nursing in public is not my favorite thing. However, I am of the belief that between the choice of starving my baby or enduring public scrutiny, I will always chooose the ladder. Let me also say that when I nurse in public, I am VERY covered. I am not one of those women that proudly presents their "ladies" to the world; I even have the aptly named "hooter hider" to keep myself completely modest.

So, once I'm covered and baby is happily eating, I get to sit back and watch. The way people react to a woman breastfeeding is both fascinating and hilarious. The range of reactions is something to behold. Here are the types I've observed:

* The complete oblivious (love 'em)

* Those that look at you with complete understanding (also love 'em)

* Those, usually women, that just beam at you. (They make me smile, even though sometimes I worry they may run over, throw off my cover and start tickling Kennedy).

*Those that look at me in disgust (not a huge fan)

*Those that say, "I will NEVER do that in public!" (famous last words)

*And those, usually men, who take a minute to figure out what you're doing, and once realization hits, look anywhere but at you. It's as if they are thinking, "don't look directly at it". This cracks me up! What do they think is going to happen if they look at us? Do they think they are going to turn into superman and develop x ray vision in that very moment? (these are the most fun to watch).

But too all types I say thank you, for letting me nurse my child in public, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you. KK thanks you and so do all the people that won't have to listen to her cry because she got a good meal in. :)

Top 10!

June 9th marks Randy and my 10 year wedding anniversary and to honor this special occassion I came up with some "Top 10 Lists" of things I've learned about marriage, my hubby, and things remembered. Here goes:

Top 10....things I remember about our wedding day:

1. I was late arriving at the temple making Randy sweat if I was going to back out (he has never let me live that down).

2. During the wedding ceremony, I couldn't stop smiling.

3. Taking pictures got old, fast.

4. A piggyback ride in a wedding dress is a complicated maneuver.

5. I LOVED my wedding dress.

6. The reception line. I honestly loved being able to visit with everybody!

7. Shoving cake in Randy's face.

8. Having to throw the wedding bouquet twice (because my mother missed the first throw). I also remember Becky Youkstetter knocking the ladies out of the way trying to catch it. :)

9. Being pelted with pounds of rice as we headed for the getaway car (I think we still found rice in the car a couple of years later).

10. The very long drive to Deer Valley. It seemed long, anyway...

Top 10 things.... I've learned about my husband in the last 10 years:

1. He is a clean freak.

2. He has 2 mistresses: college football and his xbox

3. He is very, VERY smart.

4. He gets better looking with age.

5. He is an AMAZING father.

6. He is a homebody.

7. He has a great sense of humor; he can always make me laugh.

8. He is, at heart, a family man.

9. He is great at his job.

10. He still seems to love me.

Top 10....amazing moments we've shared together in the last decade:

1. Having children.

2. Watching each other graduate from college.

3. Our trip to Hawaii.

4. Our trip to France.

5. Learning all we need is each other and our kids to be happy, no matter where we live.

6. Witnessing Randy's career successes.

7. Our trip to San Francisco.

8. Learning to cherish date nights.

9. Learning to appreciate nights in.

10. Realizing we're still in love, 10 years later.

Top 10...bits of advice to a happy marriage:

1. Don't sweat the small stuff.

2. Don't act your age.

3. Kiss...a lot.

4. Find things to do together but also enjoy doing your own thing.

5. Keep your priorities straight.

6. Don't live with the in-laws.

7. Fight naked.

8. Laugh when you want to cry.

9. Flowers and chocolate, while cliche, are important.

10. Saying "I'm sorry" can go a long way.

Thanks, Mr. Player, for an amazing ride thus far. I can't wait to see what the next 10 years will bring!

Goodbye 20's!

Well, it's that time. The time I've been dreading for the last couple of years...that's right, tomorrow I turn the big, 3-0! I realize it's not that big of a deal but it's still odd to think I'm finished with my twenties. However, this fretting about 30 has given me a chance to look back over my 20's, feel nostalgic, and be grateful for the choices I made over the last decade.

At only 20 and a couple months, I made the biggest decision of my life. I married Randy Player. Yes, 20 is young for marriage. I get some quizzical looks when I tell people I married so young, but it was definitely the right choice for me and I thank my lucky stars that I married him. He is truly my best friend and partner in life.

Just 2 short years later, we made another huge decision and had our first bundle of joy, Lincoln. He completely changed my life and my priorities. From day one, he has kept me on my toes. He is such a bright and stubborn young man. I know he will go far in life, considering his determination and unwillingness to wavor from what he wants. Our lives would not be the same without him!



6 months after having Lincoln, I was able to do something I promised myself I would do, even having a kid in the middle of it all, and that was to get my bachelor's degree. I majored in music, dance, and theatre. Being BYU, they were very understanding with me carting around my little guy to classes that last semester. And thankfully, we lived with my parents at the time so they helped a ton with watching Lincoln (those dance classes weren't the optimum place to bring a baby).




Just 2 short years after having Lincoln, we welcomed Carter. He keeps me on my toes in a completely different way than Lincoln. He is happy, mischevious, and wears his heart on his sleeve. He is loving and absolutely crazy and I can't imagine our home without him.

Then 3 years later came Jackson. He has been, in one word, joy. He is just a really cool kid. He is so easy going and just loves life. When I found out we were having our 3rd boy, I was excited. I had been hoping for a girl, but I can't say how happy I am that we had this 3rd boy. He has been such a blessing in our family.

And then just 4 short weeks ago, we welcomed our little princess. What a great way to end my twenties. We already love her so much!

So, that's the last 10 years in a nut shell. I'm grateful for it and even though I'm not excited about getting older, I can't wait to see what this next decade brings!

Ode to Superdad

"Certain is it that there is no kind of affection so purely angelic as of a father to a daughter. In love to our wives there is desire; to our sons, ambition; but to our daughters there is something which there are no words to express." Joseph Addison

Kennedy is now 3 weeks old and I can't believe how quickly it has gone. While the sleepless nights have been brutal (as has the nursing) we are now getting back to normal (aside from the comatose state I function in). Randy went back to work on Monday after a lovely 2 and a half weeks off and having him gone has made me appreciate all he did while he was off and all he continues to do the second he walks in the door! So babe, this one is for you!

First off, I have to say how great Randy is during the whole birthing process. He is quiet and unassuming yet knows exactly when I need a good laugh. He's right there with me to hold my hand and tell me I'm doing a great job. Plus, he throws in some apologies for being a man. :)

Then you have how great he is with our daughter (as he was with our boys). You know how some guys are just not great with the newborn stage? Well, my hubby is not one of them. He is right there to hold, soothe, feed, and change diapers. He is a natural and thankfully offers help whenever I need it.

And then there's how he is with the boys. He's incredibly patient, kind and always has a listening ear. He is quick to play with them; the favorites are Mario Kart on the Wii and dodgeball in the backyard. Superdad is always ready to lend a hand with homework, read to and even sing to them at night. He took the boys on countless little getaways during his time off just to give me time to recoup and bond with Kennedy. Whether it was simply taking them to the store or his more brave adventures, like taking all 3 to the movies and to the LA Museum of Natural History so they could go to the Butterfly Pavillion. Yah, he's a stud!

So thank you, Randy, for being the kind of man our children can look up to; the kind of man I want our boys to turn out like; the kind of man I want our daughter to marry. I love and appreciate you and so do our little presidents!

"Someday my Prince will come. Until then, I have my Daddy!" - unknown

Kennedy Kay

Our little lady entered this world on March 31st. We checked into the hospital a little after 9a.m. to be induced. After getting hooked up to the I.V. and my epidural (thankfully it worked this time!) they broke my water and at 2:06 p.m. we welcomed our princess weighing in at 8 pounds 1 ounce, 20 1/2 inches long. (the first question I asked when she made her entrance was, "is it really a girl?").

She is healthy and gorgeous and I have already enjoyed dressing her up multiple times a day. I am surviving on very little sleep but am really trying to enjoy every moment as I know all too well how quickly this stage passes.

I have to say, there is somethimg special and different about having a girl. I've discovered a whole new level of worry (I am never letting her out of my sight) and a whole new side to myself (if anyone ever hurts her, I will happily take them down!). It is such a sweet blessing to have her in our family and the boys have all reacted well, especially Carter. He is constantly talking to her and commenting on how tiny she is. Jackson likes to know that she is around and stares at her and Lincoln just likes to know he is in charge.

And Daddy is just putty in her tiny hands. He has already promised her a pony (I think Mom is going to have to be the disciplinarian here). Welcome Kennedy Kay, we already adore you and can't wait to watch you grow!

Feeling Nostalgic

As I sit here anxiously awaiting tomorrow, both it's difficulties and it's delights, I am a bundle of emotions. I am thrilled to welcome my little girl into this world and finally be able to meet her but I am also experiencing trepidation and nostalgia. Trepidation for all the unknowns that tomorrow will bring (from how painful it will be this time around to what she's going to look like) and nostalgia for the time I've had with only my 3 beautiful little men.

I find myself feeling incredibly lucky to be the mom of my 3 very unique, very mischievous boys. They have taught me so much and I have to say sometimes it's been a blast to be the "queen" of the house. They are such a blessing to me and I am always amazed at how completely different 3 boys, close in age, can be. You have Lincoln, the deep thinker, who analyzes and stresses about everything. He's organized, focused, bright, and creative. He worries about everyone in the family, especially me and is fiercely loyal. Then you have Carter, who is impulsive, free, never thinks through anything and gives me a run for my money. He can be a pill but is also my most loving. The first to give me a big kiss or cuddle for no reason at all. And last, but certainly not least, is my little Jackson (who at 2 is almost as big as Carter at 5). He is such a special little guy. So incredibly easy going and loving. He is beyond smart and bonds with both Lincoln's bright, creative tendencies, as well as Carter's boisterous, crazy side. I sometimes think he is the glue between Carter and Lincoln.

Maybe it's the hormones but as I welcome this new chapter in my life (bringing another precious soul into this house) and the close of another (just me and my boys) I get a little weepy for both the future and the past. I can't believe I'm lucky enough to welcome a little girl into this world. Someone I can take shopping and get pedicures. Someone I can take to the ballet and put in dance lessons. And I can't believe how blessed I've been to spend this precious time with just my boys.

Home sweet HOME!

So after nearly 2 months living in a hotel, we are now officially moved into our home! Hooray! I know that living in the hotel (and a hotel as nice as the Sheraton Universal) was a blessing and one that I am very grateful for but there is something about being in your own home, cooking your own food, having kids in their own school, etc. that can't compare.

Here are a few things I missed:

My own kitchen!

Yes, that's right. As much as I can gripe about being a made to order cook and maid, I have truly missed making (and even cleaning up) our family dinners. Not only do I feel healthier not eating take out or room service everyday all day, but I have discovered that making dinner can sometimes relax me and give me a little break from the boys. Not to mention, I get to bake again which is heaven to my sugar cravings and makes my guys happy. So, hooray for healthy dinners, yummy desserts and a beautiful kitchen that I can call my own!

Cable television!

That's right, I missed TV. Real TV. Not the few channels we had at the hotel (which included NO kids channels, something I have informed Randy he has to change about the hotel ;) ) but real television with DVR and choices. I missed it for myself but I mostly missed those few breaks I would get throughout the day when the kids could sit down and watch their favorite programs. Let's just say shower time became interesting when I couldn't occupy my 2 1/2 year old with Dora or Team Umizoomi. So, now we have our TV back, and I have learned that, as unfortunate as it may be, cable TV is a friend I don't want to be without.

Space!

I learned through this experience that space is sanity! It doesn't even have to be that much space. I missed having a place where I could seperate the boys when they were fighting or a place where I could hide myself in timeout for a few minutes when patience was hard to find. I missed being able to send the boys out back to get some fresh air and have an outlet for all that energy they have (read CARTER here). So thank you, home, for giving me the space I so dearly missed!

A place to bring my baby girl home to!!!

And last but not least, having a place to bring Kennedy home to when she finally makes her arrival. Even though I have never had a baby early, I just knew this was going to be the time, as it was the only time I didn't want it to happen. I kept having nightmares of bringing her back from the hospital and putting her in the not so comfortable, overused hotel version of a "crib" and guests slamming on my door when my crying baby wakes them up every couple hours in the middle of the night. So, needless to say, having a home to bring her home to has given me much peace of mind. Now we just have to wait...